Thoughts on Friendships and Growing Up

You know how in high school we would get this magical thing called Spring Break? Some families would go on vacations; others would be stuck at home because mom or dad had a full time job they couldn’t take time off from. And the kids who got to go on vacations would come back tan with tall stories about their wonderful times. It always seemed to me like those kids got the upper hand of Spring Break. They got to go on a break while the rest of us stayed home, with nothing more to do than visit Sonic late at night and go shopping at the mall just like any normal week.

 

But, the real Spring Breakers were at a disadvantage too. They would come back to school, completely out of the loop on what went on in the suburbs during the weeklong break. Oh, Jim and Pam are dating again? Sally the hopeless freshman got drunk? Those Spring Breakers didn’t know that any of this had happened in their time of absence. They saw friendships shift, allegiances switch, and suddenly they aren’t so sure how to navigate the testy waters of the high school social circuit. But, with a certain amount of time, they learn to float with the tide, and everything goes back to normal. But there are those few days that are spent halfway in the dark, wanting to scream, “What else don’t I know anymore?”

 

My parents never took me anywhere on vacation for Spring Break. Sure, there was that one Spring Break where we toured (2) colleges, or when I spent the whole break figure skating somewhere else. But, I never was totally in the “high school social circuit” when I was in high school. I have, however, noticed that this trend persists, not necessarily pertaining to spring break or high school, but throughout your whole life.

 

This summer was the first one I spent completely away from my home. I didn’t stay in close contact with my high school friends or my church friends. Nothing has changed drastically, but I do keep getting thrown for a loop when someone mentions something that I have no prior knowledge of.

 

It’s hard to enter back in to friend groups that you’ve been out of for a while. I had to, after spending a year of online schooling, when I came back to public high school. Those first few days back contained the most shy me I’ve ever been. But, as we grow up, and as our old best friends turn less and less “best”, we have to get used to this fading out of friend groups. If you aren’t constantly with someone, and you don’t purposefully maintain contact on a regular basis, your friendship will inevitably change. This isn’t a bad thing, it’s just life.

 

Whenever I make a new friend, I always assume that friend will be mine for life. And to a certain extent, it’s true. But it will fade. The “friendship light” won’t go out completely, but it may change. As I get older, I’m starting to realize that this just happens. In the past, I took it very personally and thought I had done something to make someone not want to be my friend anymore. Now, I know it’s all a part of growing up.

 

Friends change, rumors change, lives change. That’s just the way it is.

“I quite like the rain…”

It’s a (very) rainy day here at college. Our college was built on a swamp, so when it rains, it pours. When it pours, it puddles, and it puddles a lot. (Yes I am using ‘puddle’ as a verb. You understand what I mean now. Okay.)

One of the most important items all upperclassmen told me to bring to school was: rainboots. They are oh so necessary here, because walking across campus in a constant downpour is less than ideal, especially with water-soluble shoes.

I enjoy the rain. But I don’t like getting wet. Well no, I like getting wet, I just don’t like coming inside being wet. I think about Singing in the Rain a lot when I’m walking in the rain, thinking how easy it would be to sing and dance without a care of how wet you’re getting. But then I realize, I have to go inside and see real people, and that vision dissipates (unlike the water from my clothes).

 

 i quite like the rain

I don’t know exactly where this is from, but I found this image on Pinterest one time and I fell in love with it immediately. It’s such a simple five word phrase, yet its quaintness and simplicity remark on the beauty of rain..but maybe that’s just the English major in me.

 

Pinterest has TONS of images with quotes about rain on them.

 

maybe rain2

besides rain

puddles rain

langston hughes rain

I just love them! Rain is used as a symbol for overcoming obstacles a lot- we know that it’s raining, but we also know that there will be a time (in the near future, most likely, unless you’re Noah..) where it won’t be raining anymore. Now apply it to your life. Are you going through a hard time/rough patch? It’s okay to see it as rain. But that doesn’t mean you can’t rejoice in the rain, for you will get out of it, no matter what.

This week is Mental Health Awareness Week for my school, so we’ve been having programs each day about how to stay mentally healthy. If you’re struggling with anything, go read some rain quotes.

It’s just a little rain, and soon the sun will come.

 

Patience is a Virtue

Patience is a virtue.

One that I really really really don’t have.

I don’t like waiting for things. I use the microwave more because it heats up food faster than an oven. I don’t like talking on the phone, because there’s so much etiquette and unnecessary conversational pauses that just take up too much time. In the time I spend waiting for an extraordinary amount of things, I could have accomplished a whole lot more off my to-do list.

(The ironic thing is I don’t have a problem with patience when I’m in my car. I don’t hate getting stopped by red lights, and only recently have I become slightly annoyed at “under the speed limit” drivers. I can be as patient as I need to be in a car.)

But, as soon as I’m out and about or in the zone, if you take up a little too much of my time, I get really frustrated.

I injured myself skating over a week ago. Unfortunately, it has kept me from skating, which has only served to increase my anxiety and impatience. I just want to know what’s wrong with me, so they can fix it, and I can get back to skating. I haven’t had as much to do for the last week, and I’ve grown very frustrated waiting for answers.

I know a lot of people who are frustrated waiting for answers. We all want to know about the future- where am I supposed to go to college, what job am I supposed to have, what does my boss expect me to wear today- all of these questions about the future are fueled by impatience and increase anxiety.

However, if we remember to slow down and take it one day at a time, I think it’s easier to find a little bit more patience. If we tell ourselves, “We just have to wait until tomorrow, you can wait until then,” in any problem you have, chances are you will feel a lot better and less frustrated.

Sidenote: This does not work with homework/schoolwork. If you have that, DO NOT BE PATIENT WITH IT. Get it done right now. Stop reading this and do it. Sorry.

As I’m getting older, my patience is wearing thinner. I’m about to embark on the crazy journey of mixed up beginner adulthood, and I’m going to need all the self control, patience, and anxiety reducing techniques as I can find.

Do you have a method to help you deal with being impatient? Let me know!